“Road Rage” is no longer just the name of automotive anger but now the name of a game that takes the Road Rash formula and brings it to the current console era, but is it a success or does it crash and burn?
Terribly dumb entry lines aside, this game not only crashes and burns. It is such bad game that it deserves actual scorn. I would be so disappointed if I purchased this game or had this bought for me as a gift, as it not only besmirches the good name of Road Rash (a mediocre and pretty boring game, to be fair), and drops it into a console generation where we have such outstanding vehicle-related games that it’s ridiculous that Maximum Games thought that they could package this and sell it and that people wouldn’t be up in arms about it. Luckily for them, no one’s up in arms because no one’s even heard of this game!
The graphics are so subpar it’s kind of like playing San Andreas on PS2, but without the ability to do anything other than ride a motorbike whilst at the same being kind of passable as a free mobile game. I shuddered every time I performed a wheelie and watched as my rider stayed stiff as a board baseball bat still in hand and careened off into the sunset, and almost collapsed when I hit a pedestrian and he crumbled into a pile of mass that resembled a suit full of spanners getting sucked into a black hole. Also at one point I hit a fence and it managed to lodge itself around my neck for the remainder of the race which, whilst a hindrance, made no difference to me winning to race with relative ease.
The music was okay in parts, being the “elevator” equivalent of heavy metal, but for some unknown reason every time you answer your phone to get your next mission it just stops and you’re left to listen to some of the worst voice actors I’ve ever heard chew their way through lines written by what I can only imagine is a 12 year old from the 90’s. Seriously, there’s a city they called “Chitaly” and on completing your first mission with the Chitalian Mafia, you get a call telling you to “come eat some spaghetti”! I stopped playing soon after, so I’m guessing I’ve missed missions where the Russian Mafia gave me a vodka powered motorbike or I was tasked with stopping a shipment of donuts from reaching the police station.
All this and I haven’t even talked about how it plays yet. Let me tell you right now that it plays perfectly adequately as a mediocre Xbox 360 game that your Grandma bought you, mistaking it for a Sons of Anarchy box set. The major problem is that this is a game being released in 2017 for the current generation of consoles for a price way higher than the £0 it rightly deserves to be priced at. At one point, I couldn’t turn at all, later on I exploded after hitting nothing and then managed to fling a car half a mile after scratching the side. There are many more instances like this but I’ll be honest I’m so exhausted from playing such a mediocre and sloppy game that I can’t bring myself to talk about it anymore.
Never pick up this game….even as a joke.
Author: Hal, Plymouth store
